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greatness

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  The sun drains towards 0% as we sit on the dock over the lake and wait for an orange haze to fill the sky. Each day dies into a blossoming night, but here the temperature doesn’t drop very much. There are days I am desperate to leave, and others that I am in love. This, I suppose, is the human condition… we are prone to ups and downs. Often violent. Violent joy. Violent despair. What a turbulent existence for a turbulent species racing at high-speed towards its own extinction. The flies hover beside us cautiously, for they sense the spider webs for which I am grateful. I see a tiny spider dancing excitedly upon its carefully crafted web as it waits for food to land. They serve as a metaphor for a role reversal in human society. The spider might be the big bad boss awaiting the talented, educated, ambitious individual to land and be trapped in the web. A gondola sails by with the pilot singing a sunset song. A couple on the boat sip wine as they are serenaded… and a couple to my right
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mother

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  It’s been five months since my mother passed away and I feel like I miss her more now than ever. I see and think so many things each day that I want to share with her. And I think of her life and how it had good and happy moments, but it had a lot of pain and sadness… it could have been much better. It also could have been worse, I suppose. And today is Mother’s Day… it’s one of contemplation. I think back to, and through, the times that she walked me to school in England and in South Africa. How she had shared in my triumphs and turmoils; every moment from receiving a semester or year-end report card to the moments I was anxious about an exam or a speech or a school play. In some way, it turns on a brighter light of introspection and moments from the past come back in vivid clarity. I can almost feel the atmosphere of the moment, smell the air, recall the exact brightness, capture the feeling… something that happened 30 years ago, in some cases. It also makes one more aware of the p
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disconnected

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  I am completely disconnected from everyone’s reality. Marriage, kids, home, return to office… I don’t want any of it. I want to contribute meaningfully to society… and I want time, the time to reflect, to read, to write, to take flight to places unknown… and known. It saddens and sickens me that we survived a pandemic only to enter directly back into a 9 to 5 prison sentence punctuated by rush hour commutes. The mind-numbing banality of it is beyond my comprehension. I am grateful for my job. It has allowed me to live in three different countries, including Spain and the USA, two countries I would not otherwise have had the chance to live in. I have met hundreds of people from different backgrounds, cultures, nationalities, and perspectives, and I have also developed great relationships as a result of my job. I am grateful for the flexibility that I have and, with most of my colleagues being in Europe, it doesn’t matter too much if I work remotely. In my new team I have worked from s
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Hey scientist please save us from our rainy days.

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  Last night the magnificent Bad Religion performed at the Toyota Music Factory in Irving and, as always, they were truly amazing. For me, this show was special. Having just returned from Europe, it was a true pleasure to be able to walk for 20 minutes from my home to get to the venue knowing that I would had the same easy walk home to my own bed afterwards. Bad Religion are always extremely professional in their delivery, but what I noticed again last night is how they are all smiling, enthusiastic, having a great time. It is clear that being on stage is a great privilege for them and they are truly grateful for it. The highlight of the show, for me, was the inclusion of ‘Only Rain’, one of my favourite Bad Religion songs and one that, although I have seen them live around 30 times, I have not seen them play since 2014 in Madrid. It’s a rarity.
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European trip, April 2024

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The journey began on Saturday morning. A short walk across the street to the DART train station where I would catch the train to DFW Airport. I reached the airport in 20 minutes and then discovered I had 2 minutes to make a 7-minute walk to catch the next train that went from DFW to Fort Worth. If I missed it, I would have a full hour to sit at the station and await the next. With my backpack and suitcase, I sprinted to Terminal B and made it to the second train in just under 2 minutes, boarding a matter of seconds before the train departed. I sat back and relaxed, fascinated by this part of the Dallas Metroplex that I had not before seen. Everything was green and delightful. It was like stepping back into a time when everything was cared for and clean and somehow innocent. Old trains exceptionally maintained adorned the stations we passed through, and conductors in Super Mario uniforms collected tickets whilst guiding and informing customers how to reach their destinations.           
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life after death

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  The most unexpected moments bring emptiness and pain. The sound of rain falling, or the sighting of an animal or a beautiful nature scene… either triggering a memory or making you want to capture and share a photo or a video… only to realise that the person you want to share it with is no longer there. She passed away three and a half months ago. Somehow it feels longer than that, it seems an eternity since we last spoke. Thank goodness that I got to see her for Christmas 2022 and New Year 2023. It was the first Christmas I had spent with my parents in many years… and it was my mother’s last one. And with that in mind, I strive to make the most of the time that I have whilst trying to be responsible. This Saturday I will be travelling to Fort Worth, Texas, for the Punk in Drublic festival, NOFX’s last show ever in Texas. The mighty Lagwagon will be playing there, too, along with legends TSOL and The Vandals, The Codefendants, and a few others. I have booked a good hotel and had origi
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San Diego & Las Vegas

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  The flight to San Diego was delayed, but only after we were in the plane. At first, there’d been a terminal change that I almost failed to notice, but I made it easily to the correct gate just as boarding was beginning. Upon boarding, I couldn’t get the arm to retreat into my bag, so I couldn’t get it into the overhead locker the way it was supposed to go. After much fuss and, finally, a guy somehow hitting it back in, we were told there was a delay due to a maintenance issue. After 45 minutes, the issue was resolved and the very same second of the announcement we had a lightning strike. The captain informed us that each lighting strike triggers a fifteen-minute wait period to ensure the sky is clear. In total, we sat on the runway for just over two and a half  hours before finally taking off. The morning had been one of joy, for I was on vacation and my ear infection had almost entirely disappeared. I could hear for the first time in seven days. I made breakfast and then a sandwich
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