clinging to the wreckage

coffee cups in cold climates an empty, messy house a mind, also messy, full of debris it’s all a waste this existence seems a waste you call me but i’m on the bus and hear nothing but your sweet voice your sweet presence and then i see her troubled face i see her smile portray nothing but pain i want to reach out to you both and others and i do but i am rejected merely a body in a bar besides others like meat hanging from hooks we grasp at moments we grasp at phantoms and pretend we’re happy try to convince ourselves that life is worth it and so I pace this tiny room these tiny rooms which are really one i walk to the door and back too much time too much thought too much wine and wishing that you would call and yet so fickle so terrified of it all you looked so thin today but my reaching hands couldn’t reach didn’t dare it’s just me stuck here while you’re there

It must be said that I am perhaps not the most understanding of people when it comes to the subject of this article – the desire to have children – but I am a keen observer of human behaviour and like to point out the things that I find odd or illogical (as well as those that aren’t) when it comes to mankind and therefore I shall attempt to do so briefly here. I have never personally understood the desire to have children; the planet is over-populated, it is in a worse state of decline than at most stages of human history and there are large numbers of orphans desperate for families, not to mention the countless millions dying of famine and disease. Never the less, mankind forges on with this desire to procreate. Such is the obsession that if a couple does not ‘fall pregnant’ within a few weeks or months of trying that they head off to the doctor in an attempt to determine what is wrong. This immediately becomes a source of friction in the relationship – ‘it must be you... you must

Throughout my life I, like most of us, have grown accustomed to being bombarded with signs assuring us that Jesus Loves us or that God is watching over us. What’s more, forever are we overloaded with warnings of fiery perdition and punishment if we do not believe in God and live according to his law. Behind the scenes, powerful evangelists have a say in censorship matters that lead to the control of what we read and watch. The reproductive rights of women are taken away because the religious side of society makes the decision that no one else should have a choice. We are told all other religions are wrong, merely the worship of false gods. Homosexuals are not only told that they are wrong but their freedom to choose is removed because ‘god says gays are wrong.’ People would knock on my front door and ask me if I knew I was going to hell unless I accepted the lord Jesus Christ as my saviour. Outside of pubs I was approached and asked if I was a winner or a sinner and that sinners will