clinging to the wreckage

  Words at play on a page have always been my paint on a blank white canvas. Words paint pain… and pleasure, but even the pleasure is often born of pain. Afterall, when it comes to art or literature, one of the facets that fascinates me the most is the context… the life and mind of the artist as well as their environment. My context is that, beyond words, I am not comfortable with much. For instance, when people ask me to take care of a baby animal, I get nervous these days. If someone asks me to work with physical equipment, I feel uncertain, only comfortable in solitude, writing or reading.                     06:30am and I tune to the soccer match of my hometown team, Wigan Athletic. Today they are playing away in Huddersfield. I remember, many years ago, when I was married and my mother was alive, I drove from Wigan to Huddersfield with my mother and wife in the car. I dropped them both at...

  Each day I awake and I strive for positivity. I find it in many things because I am very fortunate, I live in a beautiful place, I have a good job with a good team, and it is flexible. I find joy in researching new topics such as places of interest, people of interest (writers and musicians) and I plan little trips. I read books and listen to music, or I do an online course in history, government, security, technology, communication, etc. I create via blogs, podcasts and videos… but this is sometimes where I am simply unable to control myself. If I witness an injustice, I feel the need to speak about it. If I feel that rights are being taken away or life is being made worse, more difficult, for no reason, I rally against the sheer ignorance or greed that leads to such things. That in turn brings me down because I want to be constructive and lead through light rather than darkness, but sometimes we have no choice other than to resist.         ...

  Many people have claimed that life changed in 2020.   Here is my opinion…                   In 2020 we were served a warning by nature. A warning that was also an opportunity. It said, ‘slow down, find some balance, spend time doing what matters, be with friends and family, spend time with your pets.’ By 2021 and 2022 it felt like we had started to form a better version of life, a more balanced existence, less commuting, less time sitting at a desk staring at a screen, more flexibility to visit family or to go to the doctor or to do some chores during breaks rather than have to do them all in the nighttime, exhausted after a commute home from work.                     2024 rolled around and the alpha males were getting restless… they didn’t want to be locked up at home with their wives, they didn’t want...

  The beauty of the sunrise walk is astounding. The silver light causes the unique cloud pattern to reflect upon the water and create a mythical image. The reflection represents my tumultuous thoughts of a former lover, a Russian with an Asian appearance. I loved her and still do… but it is never that simple, and so there is another empty silence soaring into a sensual sunrise. A voice, a scent, a secret kiss over a span of 6 years… America to France and back again. It’s always pain with a vibrant memory. Is the story over?                     And so, I set out for another lengthy walk around the lake that takes me to the local bar once more. I’m tired of politics, of sport, of people trapped by tradition, and the boredom of the status quo. It’s a day that I long for England and Spain, my European life. As I enter the area of the bar, I discover that there’s a classic car show and a market tak...

  They get married, buy a house, have children, and call everyone sheep.   They all refuse to get vaccinated because social media told them they shouldn’t get vaccinated… all together they fight vaccination, and they call everyone sheep.   They wake up at 6am and get into their cars to drive to the office because it is what they are told they should do, it is what they have always done, it is what should always be done, and they call everyone sheep.   They hate immigration, they believe that illegal immigrants are getting free health care and being housed in New York Penthouses, they do no research of their own, they form no opinions of their own, and they call everyone sheep.   And maybe I am wrong, or blind, maybe it is wise to make friends with Russia and North Korea and to make enemies of Canada and Europe… I know they were all against war, terrified of war, determined Harris would start war… now they support the war and they call everyone sheep.   Bide...

  There sometimes is a punishment for having a night of good sleep, it is a night of hardly any sleep the following night. This is where I am. 03:56 purgatory. The wind howls outside like a vicious beast, lashing the windows with a wet whip, and the temperature drops from 31C to 14C. The apartment does not yet reflect the dropping temperature, its walls still warmed by months of relentless heat. Yet, tomorrow, it should be beautiful. Almost cold, but sunny and calm, the perfect day to sit outside with a beer and a book.                     Before that, there is work to be done, and it is relentless. At least there is a great song stuck in my head… ‘Cyanide’ by Bad Religion. I connect to the Marshall speaker in my bedroom and play it. It punctuates my current listening, The Menzingers, and, once again, it dawns on my how so many things are interconnected by character, personality, values, and p...