clinging to the wreckage

  The hangover’s grip starts to loosen as I sit beside the pool with headphones on listening to Sepultura’s “A Hora e a Vez do Cabelo Nascer”. Prior to venturing down to the pool, I had a large coca cola filled with ice and that as something of an elixir. When I first got to the pool, I submerged myself under water for a while and then read a few pages whilst in the water. I assumed I was alone only to look up and see a lady sitting on the other side of a little flower bed that juts out into the pool. I felt grateful that I had not been singing. A family arrived with children at that point and so I moved to one of the deck chairs beside the pool and put my noise cancelling headphones on. After a short while, however, the heat was too much so I left and returned to the safety of my apartment.             Insanity gripped me as the afternoon sauntered through waves of heat wrapped in tunnels of blinding bright light and I got ont...

  As soon as a crowd forms, I need to disappear.                     I cycled over to the Toyota Music Factory and had a frozen Margarita with the lovely Irma at Gloria’s. Contemplating my next step, I got sunburn whilst trying to decide… and eventually cycled over to The Ginger Man, my regular local pub. It was just one couple and me and it was wonderful. Then, like magic, groups and couples started to arrive in droves. I no longer felt at peace and so I went to the bar, paid, and left. And yet, after a few hours, I ventured back out to the night market at the music factory and the bar that is there, The Reservoir. It was spectacular. Live music, beautiful people, a pleasant atmosphere. Even so, I did not stay too long, of course. The crowd becomes overwhelming.                     The morning arrives, h...

  A walk in the woods at sunrise. Awakened by birdsong and tree branches swaying lightly in the breeze. It is 7am and the day is just about cool enough to walk now… later it will not be the same. Sauntering home to collapse into the pool, swim a few lengths... and the day stretches out before me in beautiful solitude. No plans. No commitments. I see a fascinating article, apparently Christians claim they are persecuted because Coca Cola won’t print ‘Jesus is King’ on a can. It makes me think back to last night at the bar with a couple of colleagues. They arrived more than one hour late and, upon arrival one asked what brand of Ginger Beer they had and how much sugar this brand contains. The server was astonished, said he had no idea, and my colleague settled on a diet coke with a slice of lemon and a glass of water ‘light on the ice’ haha. It’s another realm for some people.   After that, I watched a film called ‘The Invite’. It was a very bizarre film, but it did remind me of...

  Trying to describe a ‘pram’ to an American colleague… what’s the word? The thing you push a baby in. ‘A stroller’. Yes, a stroller. And the baby has a dummy. What’s a dummy? Hmm, the thing you give to a baby to calm it. ‘A pacifier?’ Ah, yes, a pacifier.   A weird conversation that I had yesterday that made me feel like I was speaking to someone who spoke a different language. In many other ways, Americans and English can be very similar. Today is one of those days I feel grateful to be where I am… in Texas. The heat can be insane, and then we have severe ice storms in winter, but, in general, the weather is good.                     I ventured out to Midori Sushi for lunch and had to struggle with guilt as the cat was under my car, asleep, and I had to wake her up to safely move her to another cool and shaded spot. The sushi was incredible, the atmosphere was great, and I even had a Sa...

  Increase the Pressure is an album by English punk band, Conflict. When I was 15 or 16 years old, I got hold of a copy on cassette, it had been recorded hundreds of times from cassette to cassette, and the sound quality was terrible. But I loved it. In the years that followed, I strived to find it on vinyl (this was before CD) but that album was impossible to find or to get hold of. This was 1988, 1989… there was no internet allowing us to simply jump online and purchase or stream an album. Today, at the age of 52, in 2026, I sit in my home office, working, and I am listening to Increase the Pressure after purchasing it from the iTunes store for $9.99. It still transports me to my youth, it is still an album that I love, and it astonishes me how simple and easy it was to obtain a digital copy.                     I am grateful to have grown up in the time before cell phones and mass interne...

  Today would have been my mother’s 78 th birthday. Sadly, she passed away just under three years ago after a lengthy period of trouble related to years of spinal surgery and, ultimately, damage to nerves that prevented her from walking. My only consolation is that I got to spend the last Christmas and New year of her life with her, and it was a happy time. We ate out, we drank wine, we laughed and we talked.  My mother inspired me throughout life with her kindness, compassion, generosity, vision, intelligence, and understanding of the human condition. She was extremely sensitive and suffered tremendously from the suffering of other people and animals, and she gave everything she had to give to provide my brother and I with the best possible life we could have. And it was a good one.  To this day, my father is benefitting from the financial decisions that my mother made and some of the foundations that she built, and, following her ways, I have also built significant pra...