clinging to the wreckage

His face appearing on the screen is vomit inducing. His voice is an unbearable scratching of nails on the chalk board. His announcements could even raise a Buddhist Monk to a furious rage. Turning from this to look around at society… it seems there is sadness everywhere. I often think that much of this sadness is self-inflicted in the sense that expectation results in disappointment and, ultimately, sadness. For example, so many single people in their late thirties and early forties are so desperate for marriage and children that they will either race into something that is not suitable or they will remain alone and, instead of focusing on the positive things they can do, they wallow in pain and shame and misery because they were ‘left on the shelf.’ So many get married and have children and find it is worse than being alone. Then there are those who have purchased homes and are sad because it is a heavy burden. Added to this, people are commuting great distances in traffic to sit in a...

  There is a personality type… it’s a despicable one… that is the embodiment of ‘do as I say and not as I do.’ They will not tolerate other people doing the things that they themselves frequently do. For example, someone who comes and goes freely in and out of their office most days but then gets upset, angry, sarcastic, aggressive when someone else does the same thing. Or someone who always cancels meetings but becomes distrustful of others who cancel meetings. These patterns are interesting when you discover that hypocritical individuals tend to follow very specific patterns in life in terms of banking, shopping, voting, relationships, family values, treatment of animals and people whom they consider to be lesser than themselves, and laws. It’s a consistent and easily readable trend.                     Moving on… the apartment building has new ownership, and their first cleaning act was to ...

  The hangover’s grip starts to loosen as I sit beside the pool with headphones on listening to Sepultura’s “A Hora e a Vez do Cabelo Nascer”. Prior to venturing down to the pool, I had a large coca cola filled with ice and that as something of an elixir. When I first got to the pool, I submerged myself under water for a while and then read a few pages whilst in the water. I assumed I was alone only to look up and see a lady sitting on the other side of a little flower bed that juts out into the pool. I felt grateful that I had not been singing. A family arrived with children at that point and so I moved to one of the deck chairs beside the pool and put my noise cancelling headphones on. After a short while, however, the heat was too much so I left and returned to the safety of my apartment.             Insanity gripped me as the afternoon sauntered through waves of heat wrapped in tunnels of blinding bright light and I got ont...

  As soon as a crowd forms, I need to disappear.                     I cycled over to the Toyota Music Factory and had a frozen Margarita with the lovely Irma at Gloria’s. Contemplating my next step, I got sunburn whilst trying to decide… and eventually cycled over to The Ginger Man, my regular local pub. It was just one couple and me and it was wonderful. Then, like magic, groups and couples started to arrive in droves. I no longer felt at peace and so I went to the bar, paid, and left. And yet, after a few hours, I ventured back out to the night market at the music factory and the bar that is there, The Reservoir. It was spectacular. Live music, beautiful people, a pleasant atmosphere. Even so, I did not stay too long, of course. The crowd becomes overwhelming.                     The morning arrives, h...

  A walk in the woods at sunrise. Awakened by birdsong and tree branches swaying lightly in the breeze. It is 7am and the day is just about cool enough to walk now… later it will not be the same. Sauntering home to collapse into the pool, swim a few lengths... and the day stretches out before me in beautiful solitude. No plans. No commitments. I see a fascinating article, apparently Christians claim they are persecuted because Coca Cola won’t print ‘Jesus is King’ on a can. It makes me think back to last night at the bar with a couple of colleagues. They arrived more than one hour late and, upon arrival one asked what brand of Ginger Beer they had and how much sugar this brand contains. The server was astonished, said he had no idea, and my colleague settled on a diet coke with a slice of lemon and a glass of water ‘light on the ice’ haha. It’s another realm for some people.   After that, I watched a film called ‘The Invite’. It was a very bizarre film, but it did remind me of...

  Trying to describe a ‘pram’ to an American colleague… what’s the word? The thing you push a baby in. ‘A stroller’. Yes, a stroller. And the baby has a dummy. What’s a dummy? Hmm, the thing you give to a baby to calm it. ‘A pacifier?’ Ah, yes, a pacifier.   A weird conversation that I had yesterday that made me feel like I was speaking to someone who spoke a different language. In many other ways, Americans and English can be very similar. Today is one of those days I feel grateful to be where I am… in Texas. The heat can be insane, and then we have severe ice storms in winter, but, in general, the weather is good.                     I ventured out to Midori Sushi for lunch and had to struggle with guilt as the cat was under my car, asleep, and I had to wake her up to safely move her to another cool and shaded spot. The sushi was incredible, the atmosphere was great, and I even had a Sa...