The Plague Rages

His face appearing on the screen is vomit inducing. His voice is an unbearable scratching of nails on the chalk board. His announcements could even raise a Buddhist Monk to a furious rage. Turning from this to look around at society… it seems there is sadness everywhere. I often think that much of this sadness is self-inflicted in the sense that expectation results in disappointment and, ultimately, sadness. For example, so many single people in their late thirties and early forties are so desperate for marriage and children that they will either race into something that is not suitable or they will remain alone and, instead of focusing on the positive things they can do, they wallow in pain and shame and misery because they were ‘left on the shelf.’ So many get married and have children and find it is worse than being alone. Then there are those who have purchased homes and are sad because it is a heavy burden. Added to this, people are commuting great distances in traffic to sit in an office and do a job they could do from home. This means that they need childcare. They spend less time with their family. They have to give up pets because they are not able to stay home and take care of them. Money grows scarce whilst gas and groceries rise on a daily basis… which takes me back to that smug vomit-inducing face that even a mother wants to slap. ‘He’s doing a great job’ cry the one-toothed wonders from the quagmires. 

                  As I lie here on my bed, writing this, listening to music, Will Never Marry by Morrissey comes on. What a beautiful song. It was my anthem for most of my life and, in 2004, when I got married, I felt like I had cheated on Morrissey and myself, and that I had been disloyal to the song. Now, respectfully, I cannot listen to the song in the same way because I was married, but it is still absolutely wonderful and, I suppose, I could write will never marry again.


Will Never Marry:

I'm writing this to say
In a gentle way
Thank you, but no
I will live my life as I
Will undoubtedly die…
alone

I'm writing this to say
In a gentle way
Thank you
I will live my life as I, oh
For whether you stay
Or stray
An in-built guilt catches up with you

And as it comes around to your place
At five a.m., wakes you up
And it laughs in your face

 

Don't speak!
Sing

 



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