clinging to the wreckage

  Friday morning, I awoke after a great sleep, and began to work, with some anxiety, knowing that I was flying to Los Angeles that afternoon, and that I had still to pack my bags. Being a somewhat experienced traveller, I knew that I needn’t worry too much, but I always tend to get stressed about silly things like phone chargers and speakers and AirPods and headphones and power for my computer. At 1pm, we had a meeting between all of the members of our organisation across the Americas, from Canada to Argentina. When the meeting ended, I was sweating with anxiety. I showered, put on fresh clothes, and set out for the airport. As usual, it was a very easy trip on the train from my apartment to DFW airport. I took the SkyLink from terminal A to terminal D and went for a beer. After the drink, I boarded the plane, but as I scanned my boarding pass, there was consternation on the face of the ground staff. After frantically clicking his mouse for 5 minutes, he said ‘oh, it’s because of the c

 There is an empty wine bottle on the kitchen top, and there are cat treats in the bathroom. Why are they in the bathroom? It begins to come back to me. The stray cat reappeared, and I ran inside to get food for him. When I came back inside after feeding him, I went immediately to the loo, and put the treats down next to the sink. The wine… why is the wine finished? I was watching The Railway Man, and it was deeply disturbing, causing me to pour the contents of the bottle a little more vigorously than I ordinarily would. After the film, I slept but awoke at 2am and have been awake ever since. It is now 6am and I am chatting to a friend in France and a friend in Nepal. Over the next few days, the spiral grew, and my sleep diminished. Today as I awake, I promise myself to be better. This Friday I fly to California for a few days away, and I am looking forward to sitting on the beach with a book, meeting new people, seeing new things, and exploring the streets. There are times that I