clinging to the wreckage

I miss the times we drove. We drove blind and hopeless through the night. Once we drove to France and stopped before we reached the English channel to drink beer. We drank more beer whilst crossing the channel and then drove, drunk, through an ignorant France. From the moment we arrived in that filth-ridden, beaten, crumbling, corrupt place we were completely pissed. We stormed through the streets seeking nothing but alcoholic oblivion. I think it was the best time of my life. I walked bare-footed through the streets and they took it as a great insult to their very nation. The Australian bar had not one employee capable of speaking English and the gourmet Italian restaurant was more like the play area in a pre-school child’s playground... and yet, how we drank. We drank them well and truly under their dirty tables. We met the united nations students and went out with them... they drank orange juice and coffee... and we drank and drank and drank alcohol until it flowed from our bodie...

In a drunken ramble, I must ask... has the whole world changed? Everyone has changed except us. Everyone is obsessed with babies and marriage and glamour. Please excuse me, I am so drunk that I am having to deliberate over these words for an eternity in order to type them... but it is a Sunday night and no one is around... everyone is busy scrubbing their floors... hanging the hooks in their fucking bathroom doors... the life we live is not conceivable to them... they cannot even imagine spending a Sunday alone, reading, listening to music, watching films... they would be fucked if they had to spend even one hour of a Sunday alone. They They They They They They They... everyone... the motherfuckers who are unaware that an iceberg has more than the tip that sticks out above the water. Beer, wine, tequila... that is the true Sunday church... that is the true worship. Celine, Bukowski, Jawbreaker, Bad Religion... what the fuck is everyone else doing? They are all out looking cool, showing...

Atheists, artists, pimps, prostitutes, drug addicted alcoholics, hooligans and minority groups... the only people to whom I ever could relate. I can’t stand those striving to push forth and be at the top, above everyone else, looking down from their self-made pedestal of self-love. I am sickened by the squeaky clean conservatives who long only for house, marriage, children, dog, cat, fence, car, executive position and who have never tasted the currents of the underworld. Those who are completely oblivious to the fact that there is an alternative out there... that there is an alternative view... that people strive for different things. My neighbours are the archetype of conservative living. Having just emptied their station wagon of groceries and their baby, lady is now rocking the baby gently whilst man is drilling holes in the wall. It is 7pm on a Friday night and he is drilling holes in the fucking wall. I may feel lonely at times but at least I am not drilling holes in my wall on...