mother

Dear mother, If I should die tonight, please know that there is no other way I could find happiness and that there is no other way I’d want it. Yes, people say ‘we could have helped him to recover from his illness.’ but I disagree. I think it is the people who want to hang around who are in fact ill. They want to live on and live on and struggle on. Why do we all do it endlessly until we die without dignity?

Dear Mother, in this living world I have done all that I wanted to and now I am lost and so very tired. I’ve lived a good life but I have never belonged. Some have risen to the top in spite of not belonging but they have had the talent that I lack. And I have never had the will or desire to rise to the top. My only desire was to escape. To escape the endless competition. The meaningless machines grinding on and on until all is destroyed. Rest is what I need. I need a rest from all of the lies, all of the filthy hidden secrets, all of the things that most of us know all too well and yet can’t tell for we know it would tear the heart out of someone somewhere.

So, love dies and people are passed aside. People are passed aside in love and business and friendship because there is no such thing as honesty. A lover will no longer lose interest, leave, and then honestly state they are seeing someone else. Instead, they will secretly start seeing someone else and silently jump ship when that is cemented.