moments


There are periods of time... moments... days... where it feels as if the lump in my throat will explode and drown the town in a flood of tears. I can’t quite describe the exact problem but i haven’t particularly been feeling happy since I heard of Tony Sly’s sudden death last week. Friday night turned out to be a decent night out but it brought with it guilt and longing and confusion and a wave of memories that washed me into the weekend and resulted in beautiful dreams which only serve up more misery once awake. But, then, reality dawns once more and I realise that I am no longer capable of the restriction of the conservative relationship. Not because I want to have more than one person, not at all, simply because I want the freedom to think, to write, to do nothing, to drink, to go out (alone), to travel (alone) and not to have to adhere to someone’s family/home/car goals and ambitions.

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