suicidal

This morning, as I drove down the A3, heading towards the London Orbital, feeling miserable and thinking about my parents whose dog drowned in their swimming pool yesterday, I saw a magnificent bird flying above the cars – just above the cars – in the outside lane. I was astonished by its wingspan which was far greater than the size of any cars below it. Initially I thought it might be a bird of prey and that it considered one of the cars to be its prey, for it was flying at the same speed as the cars. Suddenly, the bird landed in the outside lane. The cars screeched to a halt and this beautiful bird (I still couldn’t determine what kind of bird it was) looked about innocently as if trying to understand what the fuss was. I felt violently sick because the only cars to stop were those in the fast lane and they started to pull around the bird. There is simply no way it could have made it away alive. I started to wonder if all the animals of the world had become suicidal. First my parents’ dog, then this bird, and the road was littered with dead squirrels. Miles and miles of green fields and trees and the animals all gravitate to the road. Like my parents’ dog... a gigantic garden to roam and it drowns in a small swimming pool. There is too much suffering on this planet. I sometimes wonder if I have the strength to continue.