unexpectedly


Driving home I looked in the rear-view mirror to witness an old couple sitting silently, grey haired, waiting desperately for the light to change, hoping beyond hope that their partner would magically disappear, wishing that a fantasy lover would appear and sweep them away for a night of passion… or perhaps just wanting someone to listen to them for the first time in years… longing for someone to say something unpredictable and fresh. It made me realise that no matter how much I pine for specific individuals there is no longevity in love, longing and passion. The only true love is that which is unrequited.
Your message arrived unexpectedly this morning and warmed my weary soul and heart, and the longing that I feel for you is the closest I will feel to true love ever again. I know that it would not take you long to grow tired of me and my melancholy. My repetitive stories (I tell them to break them down and to try to make sense of behaviours) would drive you to despair. Then, of course, there is my distance as a lover; my disinterest in frequent and prolonged intimacy. So, what we have right now, that is probably as good as it will ever get.

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