again


I dreamt of you again last night. You walked away more than four years ago and yet each time I dream of you the link is immediate. In these dreams I search for you and you search for me. When we find each other we hold each other, we hold hands, we kiss and no one else matters. In real life, when you are nearby, I feel like there is someone I know, someone close, someone I love and can confide in. The reality is that you rarely speak to me now, you very rarely even send a message to me any more, but when we do speak we speak as if there has never been a break in our connection and I still wonder if there is any hope persuading you that we should see each other again and resume what once was lost. Then again, there is the possibility that I am simply one of those people who won’t go away when that is all that you truly want.      
            For the past five years I have become accustomed to you messaging me whilst I am at airports en route to some destination or other. Always messaging me at my stopovers to ask if I had made it and then keeping me company until I switched my phone off on the connecting flight. Now, when I travel I feel like there is no one who cares where I am, what I am doing, or if my plane crashes or not. There is no one waiting for me on the other side and no one to hug me goodbye as I leave. It’s often fun but it’s mostly empty.

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