lifetime

I can't quite break through and yet I know that I love you. What it is that you want, I do not know. It seems that fear has a stranglehold on your thoughts, feelings, desires and emotions. A fear of losing everything. I suppose this is natural but it means a lifetime of denial and restriction. Every day you reprimand me in your French English and then return for more... this only makes you more loveable, more desirable. I think of the shape of your cheeks, your lips, your eyes... the way you walk, the shape of your legs... true beauty in its purest form.
     You are involved and therefore won't give in but had I met you before you would not have been interested. It takes a decade for romance to truly fade and reveal the truth. Twenty-one to thirty-one - a lifetime.
     Sitting here on this aeroplane I wonder if I wouldn't be better off if it went down. To end these thoughts and these hopeless longings. I was not built for this. I was not built to fulfill the thoughts that I harbour.

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