true fate

He travelled all over the place, making friends with people quickly and often falling in love too easily. Falling in love in this manner often meant that the feeling was not truly mutual and that the bond was not strong. As a result, heartache was one of his closest friends. In order to escape the mess, he travelled further but he was forever unable to escape that which haunted him most, the demons within. He never considered himself good enough or exciting enough. He despised groups and preferred to either be alone or with one friend in a quiet environment but he realised that group mentality was a part of almost everyone’s genetic makeup. Therefore, most of his time was spent alone. This time was usually spent thinking about the one he wished was with him. He longed to share all that he was experiencing with that one person but it was never to be.

            Over time he came to realise that the ones who disappeared would eventually come back into contact and when they did it often seemed they had made a mess of things and that they were no longer having fun. It was an endless stream of failed relationships, unhappy marriage, children that were difficult to afford, deep financial debt and general misery. He felt somewhat guilty when he heard this because he still cared for them and wished he could help but he was also aware that his life, through remaining single and childless, was fun and free. His independence meant that he was able to focus on work, study and personal development. He had found a level of financial security and was able to travel freely. He had many friends who did not demand much but were simply happy to see him from time to time and he was on the verge of completing his Masters Degree.

He was aware of the fact that many people believed that the purpose of life was to have children and that not doing so was selfish and resulted in a life unfulfilled. However, he disagreed. He saw having children as a selfish act, an egotistical act performed by those who simply wanted to see a miniature version of themselves running around. What exactly was it that they were providing this child? Life in a world in which we lie, steal, cheat, torture, compete and destroy? Many argue that, if we did not have children we would become extinct and, in turn, he would ask them if this was necessarily such a bad thing. However, he was not suggesting that every human being on the planet suddenly stopped reproducing but he was aware, as everyone should be, that there was a population explosion and that it was becoming increasingly difficult to sustain the masses. 

Ultimately, he was tired of the war between the haves and the have nots. Tired of those who had to keep up with the neighbours and prove to their parents that they were ‘normal’. Tired of the perpetuation of tradition and convention even in a time when many of these conventions, such as the institution of marriage, were clearly failing. He was happy and free and was enjoying a life in which he was not questioned by a partner who felt he should do more and give more and behave differently. At times he was lonely but this was a small price to pay when it seemed that everyone who came into his life was never content with what they had. They wanted a better job, better car, better place to live, and they either wanted to get married and have children or else they wanted more lovers. There was never a happy medium in love. There never seemed to be a point at which people were able to stop and say ‘I am content to live this way for a few years’.

It is always said that to grow old alone is the worst of fates but perhaps it is the only true fate.