love


Each time I think of meeting up with you I remember your walk and I change my mind. It’s strange that you still contact me. But, I suppose, we are always contacted by those we are not interested in. I do it, I contact people I am interested in and most probably because I know they are not interested in me. I am not sure if it is because we are all aiming too high or if it is the challenge or if it is simply a security measure built into us… we go for those who don’t want us because, ultimately, we are afraid of the person truly being interested. If we are going to sacrifice our lives in that way we may as well aim high and ensure that the pain is somewhat worth it. So many of us waste so much time waiting for, or clinging to, or obsessed with someone who does not have the slightest of interest in us. It’s a food chain, and endless competition. Like social media content… everyone striving for the best photo – these days it’s action sports – if you can get one of yourself leaping off a mountain or snowboarding over a gaping canyon you’ve hit the big time and the friends come flocking to their new leader. Pictures at bars are ‘cool’ for a while and then people start to ask what is wrong and if there is a drinking problem. Negativity and sadness are simply not tolerated and the active socialites know that the only way to avoid isolating themselves is to constantly play the bright and shining positive and happy card. And, don’t forget, regular updates mean that you actually have time to update which, in turn, according to the rules of ‘being cool in modern life’ means that you are not too absolutely busy doing amazing things to update the social media of your choice and this means that you need to ‘get a life’.
I try to avoid the fanatics. I try to avoid the scenes. I love literature but I don’t have to know every latest literary event in the modern magazine/book world and I don’t need to know which latest and greatest writer is marrying a film star. I love English football but I don’t care who is signing for which club. I love film but I don’t know any of the celebrities nor do I care what they are doing outside of the film. I love punk rock but I do not stalk the online world searching for news of the latest bands. It seems that the love of something these days is more about proving your love to the world than simply loving.

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