cherophobia

Insomnia strikes but there is a beauty about this dark, cold Sunday morning. The day stretches out ahead with the promise of solitude. There is no longer longing and loneliness for I am happy alone and my life is full. Involved once again in the musical creative process as well as writing, I feel invigorated. There is travel. There is work. There is an overactive social life. It is becoming increasingly difficult to relate to many people because their lives seem so regimented and restricted. What’s more, they do not seem to mind but almost revel in their routine and convention. However, this is not a bad thing, it allows me to step back, examine my life, and to realise that I am having fun whilst keeping things simple. I started life relatively slowly and I am catching up… but I am not striving to catch up or to do anything in particular, I am merely being myself and through fortune and circumstance I am living a great life. In recent weeks I have felt so happy that it is almost terrifying. I have never really known what it is to be happy and it is something that happens in such brief flashes that when it does arrive I fear the worst. Never the less, at this moment, I am in bed, surrounded by books, and I am very content.

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