murder
Nothing has changed. I still watch French films in foreign
places and think of you. I’ve sat on my couch in England, Spain and now the USA
and watched these films… forever making me think of you, forever making me feel
a greater sense of distance from you. In this new life there is a sense of
sadness in all I do and I don’t know if I am simply expecting too much or if
time is flying by and leaving me behind. It’s a mess… life is a mess. I’ve
thought about you perpetually since June 2013 and yet I no longer even believe
in the possibility of love. Even if I did, there is nothing… we have nothing.
You won’t even talk to me any more because of the fear of the threat you think
that I pose. There have been complicated times in the past and we have not
always been at ease but now there is a true and final silence. The inevitable
end to every friendship that blossoms between a single person and one who is
involved (if there is any form of attraction) because the partner of the
involved becomes affected by the friendship and must kill it in one form or
another. Killing freedom, killing love, killing respect along the way.
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