weight

Six years ago the will to live was lost. Life in England was becoming something of an empty routine. I was driving great distances to and from work and the job itself had become meaningless. I spent my evenings and weekends sitting around in the house drinking copious amounts of beer and wine whilst reading books and watching films. I’d awake with a hangover and to try to cure that I’d make massive breakfasts consisting of highly fattening foods. Once the afternoon rolled around again I’d be back on the beer and eating crisps. Nothing seemed to matter to me. I had lost all the love I’d found, I had completed my bachelor’s degree and couldn’t afford to do my Master’s because I was still paying off the debt that my failed marriage had left me with. I was not earning a massive amount of money so paying rent, maintaining a car, living in an expensive part of the world (the south western tip of Greater London) I was struggling to make it through the month.

            Sometime in 2011 a friend took a photograph of me and I was absolutely shocked when I looked at it and realized how large I had become. I was obese and rapidly spiraling downwards. I repelled exercise and felt angrily about those who spent their days cycling and jogging and working out in the gym. Nevertheless, I realized that I had to do something. I was ashamed of who I had become and I was not confident when talking to people or seeing people because I was so aware of how much I’d changed. I travelled to visit my parents who had not seen me in more than a year and I could see the shock on their faces when they saw me. I immediately cut every single meal portion, and started to go for regular jogs. In six months I lost 25kg (55lbs) and felt my confidence slowly return. I was overjoyed when I was suddenly able to fit into t-shirts that I had bought years before and had never been able to wear. I felt proud of being able to turn things around.

            A year after this I moved to Spain and, thankfully, did a lot of walking and jogging but, in spite of this, I still gained quite a lot of weight again due to the party lifestyle there. Moving to the US nine months ago saw a continuous weight gain and, as a result, I am now in the third week of trying to eat healthier food whilst increasing exercise levels. Fingers crossed.