clinging to the wreckage

  I am completely disconnected from everyone’s reality. Marriage, kids, home, return to office… I don’t want any of it. I want to contribute meaningfully to society… and I want time, the time to reflect, to read, to write, to take flight to places unknown… and known. It saddens and sickens me that we survived a pandemic only to enter directly back into a 9 to 5 prison sentence punctuated by rush hour commutes. The mind-numbing banality of it is beyond my comprehension. I am grateful for my job. It has allowed me to live in three different countries, including Spain and the USA, two countries I would not otherwise have had the chance to live in. I have met hundreds of people from different backgrounds, cultures, nationalities, and perspectives, and I have also developed great relationships as a result of my job. I am grateful for the flexibility that I have and, with most of my colleagues being in Europe, it doesn’t matter too much if I work remotely. In my new team I have worked from s

  Last night the magnificent Bad Religion performed at the Toyota Music Factory in Irving and, as always, they were truly amazing. For me, this show was special. Having just returned from Europe, it was a true pleasure to be able to walk for 20 minutes from my home to get to the venue knowing that I would had the same easy walk home to my own bed afterwards. Bad Religion are always extremely professional in their delivery, but what I noticed again last night is how they are all smiling, enthusiastic, having a great time. It is clear that being on stage is a great privilege for them and they are truly grateful for it. The highlight of the show, for me, was the inclusion of ‘Only Rain’, one of my favourite Bad Religion songs and one that, although I have seen them live around 30 times, I have not seen them play since 2014 in Madrid. It’s a rarity.

The journey began on Saturday morning. A short walk across the street to the DART train station where I would catch the train to DFW Airport. I reached the airport in 20 minutes and then discovered I had 2 minutes to make a 7-minute walk to catch the next train that went from DFW to Fort Worth. If I missed it, I would have a full hour to sit at the station and await the next. With my backpack and suitcase, I sprinted to Terminal B and made it to the second train in just under 2 minutes, boarding a matter of seconds before the train departed. I sat back and relaxed, fascinated by this part of the Dallas Metroplex that I had not before seen. Everything was green and delightful. It was like stepping back into a time when everything was cared for and clean and somehow innocent. Old trains exceptionally maintained adorned the stations we passed through, and conductors in Super Mario uniforms collected tickets whilst guiding and informing customers how to reach their destinations.           

  The most unexpected moments bring emptiness and pain. The sound of rain falling, or the sighting of an animal or a beautiful nature scene… either triggering a memory or making you want to capture and share a photo or a video… only to realise that the person you want to share it with is no longer there. She passed away three and a half months ago. Somehow it feels longer than that, it seems an eternity since we last spoke. Thank goodness that I got to see her for Christmas 2022 and New Year 2023. It was the first Christmas I had spent with my parents in many years… and it was my mother’s last one. And with that in mind, I strive to make the most of the time that I have whilst trying to be responsible. This Saturday I will be travelling to Fort Worth, Texas, for the Punk in Drublic festival, NOFX’s last show ever in Texas. The mighty Lagwagon will be playing there, too, along with legends TSOL and The Vandals, The Codefendants, and a few others. I have booked a good hotel and had origi