disconnected

 I am completely disconnected from everyone’s reality. Marriage, kids, home, return to office… I don’t want any of it. I want to contribute meaningfully to society… and I want time, the time to reflect, to read, to write, to take flight to places unknown… and known. It saddens and sickens me that we survived a pandemic only to enter directly back into a 9 to 5 prison sentence punctuated by rush hour commutes. The mind-numbing banality of it is beyond my comprehension.

I am grateful for my job. It has allowed me to live in three different countries, including Spain and the USA, two countries I would not otherwise have had the chance to live in. I have met hundreds of people from different backgrounds, cultures, nationalities, and perspectives, and I have also developed great relationships as a result of my job. I am grateful for the flexibility that I have and, with most of my colleagues being in Europe, it doesn’t matter too much if I work remotely. In my new team I have worked from several remote locations. Prior to that, the expectation was to always be in the office, and everything bad that happened was blamed on remote work. It’s not so much that people will leave when they are not given flexibility, it is more that they simply lose motivation, become unengaged and, thus, less productive. There is simply no point to mandate an outdated way of working in the modern world.

Thinking of these things… I think I am only happy when I am in bed these days. That worries me. Something broke in me when people were dying, we were locked inside, and some people were still insisting that we drive into an office. Some people were insisting the virus was a hoax. Some people were attacking Asians in the street because the idiot president kept referring to ‘The China Virus.’ He’s in court these days but, you know, he should be jailed just for calling Covid-19 ‘The China Virus.’ He should be jailed for wanting to build a wall and for saying that he would make Mexicans pay for it. Something broke in me and it was thanks to him and all those who supported him and all of those idiotic tweets that bombarded us every single hour of the day.

I could say more… but you get the general idea.




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