Christmas 2025

 Christmas Eve used to be my favourite day and, even yesterday, I was thinking ‘tomorrow is my favourite day of the year.’ This was because it historically marked the beginning of a holiday that lasted into the beginning of January. It marked a time that most of humanity slowed down… together, for once, and enjoyed some peace and quiet and celebration. It was also historically a night that I was with my family, and we would all sleep under the same roof to awake to presents and feasts and parties. In later years, it became a night often spent with a lover or girlfriend, a night spent cooking and drinking, talking and laughing, kissing and being romantic. Today I rode my bicycle to a nearby restaurant for lunch, I sat at the bar and had a beer and a pizza. However, before the pizza arrived, a strange guy arrived and, even though the bar was empty, came to sit next to me. I eventually escaped, went home, then walked back and went to my regular bar. It was peaceful and pleasant. The weather was warm and calm. But I felt a sense of loneliness and longing. Tonight I am alone and I will be alone tomorrow, Christmas Day, which is not a crisis, it is what I have enjoyed many times over the years. However, this year feels a little different somehow. It feels like I am unable to enjoy films the way I used to. I don’t feel enthusiastic about cooking or even drinking. There is no lover to reach out to, only relics of the past. The ghosts of Christmas past. 


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