clinging to the wreckage

  The ghost of love lingers in the halls. It was once a living, breathing thing that brought excitement, anticipation, company, and passion, but it is long since dead. Its emaciated ghost haunts me in the dead of night. I rise from my pit of insomnia and take a short walk outside to see if the cat is around, and I find it stretched out on top of a car the same colour as its fur. We stare at each other for a short while and then she stretches out once more as if declaring ‘I am bored now’ and attempts to go back to sleep. Back inside, wide awake, I begin to ruminate on the change of feelings over time and how, now, I don’t even feel the desire to make an effort to try to chat or date or get involved in any way. And yet, I still pine for certain people from the past.  

  10pm, Saturday night. I’m sitting outside with the cat. The cat dislikes people, and I fail to understand them. 10pm Saturday night… why are you driving? Shouldn’t you be having fun at a party? Shouldn’t you be too drunk to drive? If not, if you don’t drink, shouldn’t you be at home? Why is there an endless flow of cars pulling into our parking garage at 10pm on Saturday night? We are not a nightclub. We are not a disco. Why are you in your car? I simply cannot fathom it.                     Giving up on peace, I return to my apartment and hide inside. Saturday night and so many people are out there looking to fulfil their needs. Many looking for sex, many using it in the hope of finding more. Most simply there because they cannot bear to be alone, the way that I am every night. After a few hours out in the afternoon, I am satiated.           ...

Would you like to buy a book for $1.99 that captures the ramblings of loves long lost from my years spent living in Spain? if so, here it is:  Memoirs of the Damned: The Spanish Years  

  I have dined in hell… and it was wonderful. Alcohol, music, food, and beauty abound. This was the start of the second day of my self-proclaimed four days of debauchery that I referred to as the ‘Grind, Comedy, and Death in Dallas’ tour. I named it this due to the fact that I was watching two Grindcore bands in two nights, followed by a comedian on Friday night and a death metal band on Saturday.                     It all began on Wednesday, the 16 th of April. I was heading out to see the Grindcore gods, Carcass, from Liverpool, England, at the South Side Ballroom in Downtown Dallas, but I’d made it a mini vacation, so it was the first of three days off work to indulge in decadent debauchery. Thus, I took the DART train to the Southwest Medical District station and walked to The Grapevine Lounge/Bar. I was intrigued by the bar simply because someone from Washington DC had written a review ...

 During the pandemic our species was given an opportunity to evolve rapidly. We had a chance to assess all that had come before us and to change, dramatically, for the better. We were given the chance to eradicate commutes and uncomfortable lack of privacies. But then the doomers set in… ‘we had to suffer and so should you. I had to wake up at 4am, put a suit on, then walk 25 miles over a snowy mountain inhabited by dragons and vampires to get to the office at 8am.’ Yes, I am Generation X, I have suffered, too, and that is what makes me even more determined that younger generations should have flexibility and the best possible life. Give people a choice and ease their lives. Give them work/life balance. Retain and attract talent. Increase engagement across the board. Stop worrying about where work is done, focus on productivity and let’s work to build a better life for everyone. The Campion Trail, my backyard, Las Colinas, Texas, USA.

 Everything is mediocre and futile. The return to office madness, led by madmen and obeyed by the hopeless. The government’s endless persecution of immigrants and administrative workers… but, even worse, their pursuit of the destruction of science and education. The people on LinkedIn whose profiles read ‘founder of three companies’ (why would that be your headline?) and those on tiktok/youtube/etc claiming that they are always the hard working ones in a relationship but the relationship always fails due to the other person, just like they get fired from every job they ever have… but it is always the company’s fault. And then the companies who all seem to run with a tiny group of people trying to deliver while a massive group of people ask them when they will deliver and how and when… and all the people chasing don’t seem to be in contact with each other, so they all overlap and ask the same questions… but they never contribute to any solutions. ‘Is he there?’, he asks. But wh...

  What causes the disconnection between people? What is it that causes a colleague to praise the work and efforts of one but completely ignore another? Why does a team mate in a sports team congratulate a member of their team but say nothing to another who does equally well? I’d been contemplating this for a few days and then, today, my father told me a story about something that happened while he was bowling (lawn bowls). He hit the jack, pushed it back, and took his team from -2 points to +6 points… and none of the team said anything to him. No comment on the shot. He said to me ‘it makes one feel that one is not wanted.’ It made me sad to hear him say that, and it made me ponder, even deeper, why this occurs. My only thought is that is must be one of the following reasons:   -               People simply don’t like you and are not willing to comment -          ...