Grind, Comedy, and Death in Dallas

 I have dined in hell… and it was wonderful. Alcohol, music, food, and beauty abound. This was the start of the second day of my self-proclaimed four days of debauchery that I referred to as the ‘Grind, Comedy, and Death in Dallas’ tour. I named it this due to the fact that I was watching two Grindcore bands in two nights, followed by a comedian on Friday night and a death metal band on Saturday. 

                  It all began on Wednesday, the 16th of April. I was heading out to see the Grindcore gods, Carcass, from Liverpool, England, at the South Side Ballroom in Downtown Dallas, but I’d made it a mini vacation, so it was the first of three days off work to indulge in decadent debauchery. Thus, I took the DART train to the Southwest Medical District station and walked to The Grapevine Lounge/Bar. I was intrigued by the bar simply because someone from Washington DC had written a review on Yelp saying ‘I love this bar so much. If I lived in Dallas, I would lose my job and get divorced as a result of this bar.’ It made me laugh, and it made me determined to visit. And… it was great. I watched some soccer there and had two beers before heading back to the station and on to West End Station. From there, I walked to the JFK assassination spot where I made a little video for my YouTube Channel. I then walked to Johnny’s Famous Chicken and Waffles where I had a couple more beers and some delicious chicken with Mac & Cheese and Broccoli. The lady working at the bar was alone, the place was crowded, she was overloaded, and yet she was delightful, charming, efficient, and never stopped smiling. From here, it is a 3-minute walk to the ballroom. Carcass were opening for other bands, so they were playing at 7pm, which was perfect for me. I entered, had one beer whilst watching the brilliant Carcass play their set, and then I left and took the train home to go to enjoy an early night after a great amount of walking. 

                  The second day, briefly alluded to above, is where the wheels started to fall off. The show that night was Napalm Death at The Echo Lounge. However, I was so excited to have the day to spend as I pleased, and was so enthused about the events and shows, that I decided to head out for an early lunch at ‘Rowdy Cowboy.’ Within said place, I started to develop a state of euphoria that, whilst exchanging messages with a friend, led us to developing a theory that I had died and gone to hell... but, in this case, hell was full of beautiful women, alcohol, and music. It was fantastic. I had three beers and some lunch before heading home to watch some soccer (with more beers). 

After the soccer, I ventured onto the DART train once more and set off for ‘Victory Station from where I walked to the Echo Lounge. The opening band was one called Weedeater, and they left me somewhat astonished. The vocalist walked onto stage sipping moonshine from a 1 litre bottle. However, the highlight of their set for me was the introduction to the final song. The vocalist growled: ‘This is our final song. I hope you hate it as much as I do. Go fuck yourselves.’  After Weedeater came the flamboyant Melvins and, finally, after many hours of walking and standing, I witnessed the second group of Grindcore Gods in two days, from Birmingham, England, Napalm death, take stage and enter into their set of obliteration. The speed and fury of this band knows no bounds. But true gentlemen to the last. 

                  As their set blasted towards a close, and peaceful silence was cast upon the Dallas night once more, I walked back to the station and took the train home. By this point, exhaustion was starting to set into my ageing bones and, as I had not been able to sleep well since Tuesday night, and I was consuming alcohol along with long walks, I was not exactly the freshest. 

                  Another bad sleep and I awoke on Friday morning for day three of the onslaught. This day promised to be more peaceful, however, as it was a comedy show in Fort Worth, and I had booked a hotel for the night so that I would not have to take a lengthy train ride home after the show. After a shower and getting dressed, feeling better, I set off around 10am to make the most of the day. On the train, I became excited at the prospect of being on vacation, being on the train, having seen two shows in two nights and still having two ahead of me, as well as a plethora of other options during the day. I was about to take it too far. 

Upon arrival, I walked to The Archibald Pub, knowing that I was too early for the hotel, only to find that it was closed on weekdays until 4pm. I decided to walk to the hotel and give it a try as it was nearby. Sure enough, I got straight into a room. I spent a little bit of time setting up my Apple TV (which I always take to hotels so I can watch the English soccer in bed in the early morning). Once done, I set foot for The Flying Saucer bar where I had fish and chips with a couple of fine beers. From there, I walked to The Archibald again and was delighted to discover the beautiful Trinity working there. I had two more beers and then a whisky, tempted to do so by the boozy path the discussion had taken. Inebriated, I trundled back to my hotel and took a shower. In fresh clothes, I danced down to the Big Laugh Comedy Club, which was in the same building as my hotel, just a different entrance, where I would see Natalie Cuomo perform live. Arriving early, I sat at the bar and had a beer before entering the show. Once within, there was a requirement to order two items, minimum, from the bar or kitchen… so I had two more beers. The show was brilliant and had me laughing for two hours straight. By this time, I was starving and starting to recall that Trinity had told me The Archibald served pizza until 2am. Thus, I walked back to The Archibald, ordered a pizza, and had another beer. 

I awoke in the morning feeling like the Grim Reaper had hacked at me a few times in the night but had somehow not succeeded in taking my life. I got out of bed and walked across the street, it was raining, to a place called Jakes. Jakes claims to have the best breakfast in Fort Worth. However, after entering through the delivery door and standing alone in the restaurant for 15 minutes, I saw a sign that said they were not open that day due to unforeseen circumstances. In the rain I skipped through the clouds of my hangover up the street and found a place called Yolk… ‘handling your huevos since 2006’. I went inside and, even though I was dying, it was wonderful. 

I had forgotten my medication, it was raining and windy, I was hungover and ill… I decided to go home. Having showered, packed, and checked out, I crawled to the train station and slowly made it home. Once on the couch, I remained on the couch, and missed the final show, Florida’s Death Metal giants, Obituary. I simply couldn’t. Fortunately, I had seen Obituary several times around the world and was therefore comfortable with missing one show. 



















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

unrequited love

Image
  Friday morning, 5am, I am awake. But it is not a bad thing. I am awake because I am excited. I fly to San Diego for the weekend, and yesterday I successfully passed my citizenship interview. San Diego beckons me as the place I first truly longed to be, to live, to see… and I still, to this day, would love to be self-sufficient, without the need for a physical office or company or reporting structure, to simply live and read and write whilst exploring the streets, parks, beaches, museums, and bars of the place. The world can be a better place if we can let go of old beliefs and traditions. Those traditions that put so much pressure on people. For example, everyone is raised to believe they must get married, buy a house, have children… and so people become depressed because they can’t find a partner or buy a house, or a couple can’t have children. Instead, we should be enjoying our independence, travelling, investing, enjoying life. We don’t need to buy a house… be a nomad, be free...
Read more

walk away

Image
  One sentence to replace all happiness: I miss the connection we had before you disappeared. We woke up that one Saturday morning and you said, ‘I feel like getting drunk.’ I suggested that you have a beer while I make breakfast. So, in that bright early morning Madrid sunshine, we had breakfast and got drunk. We laughed and joked, listened to music, kissed, had sex, watched BBC’s Sherlock Holmes.  It’s the crazy moments that I remember. The trip to Casablanca, the trip to London, the cocktail afternoons in Madrid during which we’d take hilarious selfies of ourselves with some character in the background… we’d try to create an optical illusion to make it look like it was a tiny person sitting between and we were putting a finger on their head. In the end, you said you wanted to party, not be in love.  I respected your honesty, and watched you walk away.  
Read more

old town station

Image
  I type in your name to send you a note… I see that you are eight or nine months pregnant in your profile photo, and I find myself at a loss for words. There is no indication of when you were last online, of course, people tend to hide these things these days. So I don't bother to message.  I think of you often… and the night we met. The way you touched your belt buckle each time you spoke to me. When I asked why, you said it was to save your soul from being stolen by a ginger. You said it was a Spanish belief. It was wonderfully hilarious. In spite of your being Spanish, your accent sounded almost English, and I felt that you had a Scottish look. A few hours later we were kissing... kissing in the bar, kissing in the street, kissing in my hotel. We spoke about how it felt like more and like we had known each other for years. The next day I had to fly to a different part of Spain as my band was playing at a festival. Through all of the wonderful messages we were exchanging, y...
Read more