affection
What causes the disconnection between people? What is it that causes a colleague to praise the work and efforts of one but completely ignore another? Why does a team mate in a sports team congratulate a member of their team but say nothing to another who does equally well? I’d been contemplating this for a few days and then, today, my father told me a story about something that happened while he was bowling (lawn bowls). He hit the jack, pushed it back, and took his team from -2 points to +6 points… and none of the team said anything to him. No comment on the shot. He said to me ‘it makes one feel that one is not wanted.’ It made me sad to hear him say that, and it made me ponder, even deeper, why this occurs. My only thought is that is must be one of the following reasons:
- People simply don’t like you and are not willing to comment
- People are jealous of your achievement, or jealous on the whole of your life, and so they keep quiet.
- They think that you are boastful, and they don’t want to make it worse by praising you.
- Everyone has simply become cold and distant and disconnected, and this results in a determination not to show any emotion or fondness.
As a society, we have become afraid of showing love, afraid of hugging, afraid of reacting with a heart instead of just a thumb. We dare not show any form of weakness. Even humour is losing its place, especially in the workplace, as people see seriousness as the path to getting ahead. In some cases, I understand it… showing too much friendliness can sometimes lead to a misunderstanding of intentions in our personal relationships. At work, it can lead to someone trying to take advantage of leadership or vice versa, for example.
My wish is that every person could be independent and free… strong enough to give and receive affection and love without the fear of overstepping the mark.
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