fear

When one is suicidal it becomes impossible to fear the petty threats of things such as a manager being angry that you are late for work. If I am late for work once a week, deal with it. Life goes on... even if I am ten minutes late. It’s always been the same. In school in the southern hemisphere we were told to fear god, to fear religion, to fear the moral majority (those who feel they are morally superior – and superior in all other ways too – to the rest of humanity.) I reject any attempt to establish control through fear. I recall going into school and classmates would say ‘did you bring your form in?’ (for example) and I would say ‘what form?’ and they would say ‘the form that we had to get filled in and bring in today... you are going to be in so much trouble... it is really serious and today is the last day that you can bring it in.’ My mind, against my will, completely involuntarily, would utter ‘fuck them, what are they going to do? Not only do I not have my form, I don’t even know which form they are talking about.’ This is a view that has served me well over the years; just do what you need to do when you need to do it and stop worrying.