ghosts

Each night I lie awake in bed and stare at the walls. Falling asleep, initially, is usually not a problem, the problem lies in waking up at 3am and then being unable to return to sleep.

Now I sit at my desk with reality flickering in and out of crashes. Sounds like static flash through my mind and my eyes blacken in momentary losses of vision.

This is the ordinary state of the insomniac. Delving into a little modern research on insomnia the warning is ‘insomnia equals death.’ What can one do? I lie awake and await death… but it seems my mind is too active even for that. I lie awake and contemplate all the areas in which I cannot compete. I wonder how many people and how many animals are suffering terribly around the world whilst I lie in my bed and think that insomnia is a terrible problem.

Looking up from my desk I see people pass by as if they are merely ghostly images. The most corporal part of them is the attitude that they exude. I reach out to one in longing and desire but I am the ghost to this mortal and she does not see me. From a different realm I make noises and send signs in the hope of being noticed by her… but I am not noticed and so I fade away once more into the sleepless night with an aching heart.

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