beer and pizza

 The fan spins with a monotonous hum, a vaguely audible hum. There is peace and calm. Sauntering towards the door I make a bowl of food for the cat and step outside into the 6am morning. A wall of violent sound greets me as a tow truck idles right beside the door, inspecting cars in the car park that might not be legitimately parked. This is the modern world. We spend more money and effort trying to protect and punish unnecessarily than we spend contributing to helping people. People like punishing people, they prefer it to helping people. We spend money on war but not food. We spend money checking if people are in the office but not on incentives that will promote office attendance and engagement. We prefer fear over respect. It’s why some places choose religion over science… it is fear over understanding. It is control over education and freedom. 

                  That being committed to paper, we can only focus on what we can control… we can only work for improvement, contribute to a better society, a better world. So, as I sit here at my desk, overlooking Lake Carolyn, I feel a sense of peace. And yet, lurking behind this peace, a sense of disconnection lingers, I feel like something is building… people often distance themselves before breaking bad news or severing ties. Alas, this also falls into the category of that which we cannot control. The only thing I can do is prepare as best as I can. As I write, Total Hag starts to play, a song by O.L.D. and I start to laugh out loud as I have not heard this song for many years. What a blast from the past, quite literally a blast.

                  I fill my car with petrol, and it costs more than it has ever cost. This is thanks to those people who simply can’t be calm, still, quiet, they must have conflict and drama and pain. I drive directly from the petrol station to the Toyota Music Factory and park… something I never do, I usually only walk or cycle there. Walking in, I am greeting by the delightful bar tender I have known for a few years and I act calm as my heart races. Two beers and a pizza to go, I drive home, have some pizza and watch music videos on YouTube. An attempt to find a film to watch is useless because they are all cancer, car crash, infant death, murder, suicide, aliens… there’s nothing about writers who drink and don’t write, they just go to bars and fall in love with married people. 


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